You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
