Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
