do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
