doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just invented taco cereal.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
