How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize