Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i out mim tonsoeep
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
