She is in my trunk
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
nutella sex= disaster
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
