Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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