i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
