the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
