I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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