The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
