eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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