not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
