He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
