we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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