I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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