Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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