Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
