we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
