last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
