Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
