I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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