I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
