Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
