I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
