so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
