And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
