Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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