this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
