So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
