remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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