I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
