I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
