He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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