he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize