I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
you never un-have a 4some
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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