some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
