sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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