just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
