I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
