And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
