I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
