my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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