we have officially lost it.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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