Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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