Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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