at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
