You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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