hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
