i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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