Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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