Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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