She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
