If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
