He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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