then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
