Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
